YMHR

My name is Andrew.
Kanye West is my power animal.
Stephen Colbert is my inspiration.
Aziz Ansari is my favorite.
A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist.”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.”How old is this rock, pinhead?”The arrogant professor smirked and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian.””Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now.”The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.Semper Fi.p.s. close the bordersp.p.s. That ex-SEAL was EINSTEIN.SHARE THIS IF YOU LOVE FREEDOM.

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian.”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi.
p.s. close the borders
p.p.s. That ex-SEAL was EINSTEIN.

SHARE THIS IF YOU LOVE FREEDOM.

(Source: xwhatserface, via closetamish)

hunkiedooree:

You make me nostalgic for a love that hasn’t even happened yet.

bestrooftalkever: Let 2012 be remembered as the year we brought the mid-nineties back to life with overpriced tickets to 3D renderings of things I thought I forgot about.

bestrooftalkever:

Let 2012 be remembered as the year we brought the mid-nineties back to life with overpriced tickets to 3D renderings of things I thought I forgot about.

(via theclearlydope)

Close your eyes and imagine- Vegas on acid, seen through Yves St. Laurent glasses.

—Kanye West (Diamonds from Sierra Leone)

What is language but a box for thoughts and emotions to fit into?

Communication shouldn’t be limited to words. It can’t be.

Language just creates this coupling to morph what we think into something to say. 

Effective communication shouldn’t require words.

You think when you wake up in the mornin yesterday don’t count. But yesterday is all that does count. What else is there? Your life is made out of the days it’s made out of. Nothin else.

—No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy (via kjmaiuri)

I’m not going to be one of those people who sits around talking about what they’re going to do or become. I’m just going to do it. Imagining the future is kind of nostalgia. You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how amazing it will be, and imagining the future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.

—John Green, Looking For Alaska (via v0lar)